Have you ever asked the question, "Can I talk to God?". When I was 10, I asked that question to my mother. "Kneel and pray", she said "and God will listen to you". Thus began my 'spiritual life' and till recently I have performed a well rehearsed monologue at my bedside, with the belief that someone is listening and the hope that the words are actually interpreted and acted upon. Over the years, there have been plenty of thanks, many many requests and countless promises(quickly forgotten :D). Life goes on doesn't it. Now, a decade later, another question has come out of hiding from within - "Can God talk to me? If so, How? In what language and what voice?". Have you ever asked yourself this question? Try it, you never know what words your heart only waits to reply!
As I wait for my heart to reply, my mind wanders about making its own presumptions, approaching the question logically. Firstly, Does God really listen to what I say at my bedside?. Over the years, there had been millions of prayer requests. Many had been answered, while many more denied., Unexpected events directed my life's decisions and therefore evolved into a path of its own. Taking a sample of the "ayes" and "nays" for my prayer requests, we get a set of random occurrences. Given that data, for any prayer request, an acceptance probability can be calculated. Statistically speaking, we cannot decide as to whether God listens or not, from this information. So, then what does it tell us? "Its all chance. There is no one listening !". Ok, let us now presume God listens and that He actually decides on our prayer request judiciously. (let me share from my life's account) When in school, I had aimed to be a doctor(in medicine) and studied for the required exams with all due effort. My only prayer was for God to assist me in performing suitably in the exam. During the exam, a severe headache troubled my concentration and I performed worse than my average worst. I missed the admission criteria by 5 marks and had to resort to a different career path. There went my only opportunity to become a medical practitioner. What was wrong in my aim and what did I do wrong ? Why did I have to get that headache at that exact moment ? Is there someone playing around with my life ? If so, is it God ? If it is God, then how is it the "right" thing. It cannot be God. Again, a logical brain will decide -"Its just coincidence. There could be countless medical reasons for the headache and might also have something to do with the ice cream I had the previous night(:))". Hmm.. Coming to our bargains. While making a prayer request, to support our cause before God, we make promises. Some we keep, some we ignore and some we even forget (this happens majority of the time). If there was someone listening, these ignored and particularly forgotten promises should have been accounted and respective action taken. Are these acts of our ignorance the cause for unanswered prayers? Can we say for sure that when a promise is broken, our prayer request is denied ? I recollect a few prayer requests in which I had very easily ignored the promises made, but still had the prayer answered. Therefore, this leaves everything to "chance". After all this, the logical mind just echoes one thing -"Its all chance. No one's listening !". Can it be true? What else can we derive from all this. All these arguments make sense, don't they?
"STOP IT !!!" a sharp, thunderous voice calls out from within. A rather soft-spoken heart today has lost its calm and screams for attention. "OK!" I said, "I will listen to you now". This is what it had to say: "Let me take each of your arguments in the order you put it and give you a piece of my mind. Among your many prayer requests, you had some answered and some that weren't. You now question as to whether it was God's doing or pure chance. Have you ever looked back at those prayer requests you made as a kid and examined them carefully for their substance and reason? Did they all make sense? - A sample of your prayers when you were in school: 'Please God, this teacher has to fall ill tomorrow ( the day he has anounced a quiz, and you pray instead of studying)'. 'To score higher than your classmate notwithstanding what he deserves through his own accord'. Do these prayers make any sense at all? No. When you got what you deserved and were rewarded according to your deeds and actions, how could you portray that as pure chance? As per your argument, there was always a chance that such ridiculous events resulted in your favor. It was but a calculated effort of "the supreme power" to not let that happen". Makes sense, doesn't it? [Brain - STRIKE 1]. The heart had calmed down by now and continued, "The second argument you made was with regard to your career choice and the manner it went disarray". The heart had a question to ask: "What are you doing now? (I am pursuing a PhD) Today, do you look back at that exam day with regret or remorse? Don't you think, even for a second, that your current life-path is probably better tailored for your future?". Generally speaking, some people may be able to answer this question with ease (for whom the path they were forced into led to success), while others will not have a firm answer(because success had not come their way yet). In the statement, we say "success had not come yet", only with a hope for the future which never ceases to drive us forward. Isn't hope the key essence of life and the major ingredient for greatness and success. Hope in one's self for a successful future and hope in God to show the right way work in tandem to brighten the horizon we aim to achieve [Brain - STRIKE 2]. Surprisingly, the heart's voice turned into one of authority, and said, "Your question regarding the promises you keep is rather amusing. You ask why God does not punish for broken promises and hold you accountable for each and every one of them? You might even question God's judicious capabilities, if such acts of ignorance by man was not judged appropriately. Does God have to be an accountant? Doesn't your mother forgive you for not cleaning your room, but charges at you for not doing homework. Doesn't your father forget the many toys you break as a kid but hold you accountable for the dent on the car door. Have you every wondered why? They forgive and forget out of Love and are firm when they care." God (or that supreme power) can also be perceived as a loving parent representing the characteristics of love and care [Brain - STRIKE 3].
Now that the logically thinking brain is striked out, we can deduce that, "There is a God or supreme power. God does listen to our prayers, and judge us fairly". But, we are still left with our golden question -"How does God respond to our prayers?". As we see in the later part of heart's discussion, God is but a loving parent. Now, under that surmise we are judged fairly for our actions. In other words, whenever we disobey (break a promise or do wrong), we are punished by small mishaps and/or circumstances that lead to our discomfort. The degree of such events depends upon the nature of our actions. When such events occur at random in one's life, we may not understand the reason right away. It is difficult for us to introspect and find fault in our own actions, because our deeds are always correct to our own eyes. You really can, we just don't try hard enough. I say this with strong conviction through introspection and analysis of many years of my life, which has been frequently spotted with such mishaps and events. How was I able to find it all out ! The heart told me... With a calm mind and clear thought, if we look back at our actions in the recent or distant past, the heart will reveal the secret behind God's judgment. Listen my friend... listen hard, and you will hear it. Its a calm whisper in your own voice. Yes, our heart speaks in our own voice, in our own language but has a mind of its own. I have heard that voice once too often, but have been ignorant of it for a greater part of my life. What we think as "conscience" is nothing but the heart speaking through God's tongue. One may stop to question such a scheme of creating unfavorable events and mishaps to correct us, and ask "If God is a loving parent, then how is this childlike tit-for-tat attitude justified". Donot look at it as "tit-for-tat" but a pinch in the arm to remind us of when you have drifted off the right road. God can also be portrayed as a shepherd, who goes in search of his lost sheep and drags it back with the hook of his staff. How many ever times that sheep drifts away, the shepherd surprisingly never gets irritated. We should look at each of these events as warnings to correct our strayed ways, and get back in the path that God has directed for us.
You might now ask another question, "If God knows our final destiny beforehand, why not etch it into our minds in such a way that we never go beyond his directed path and always stay on the road."Logical indeed. Look at it this way, if God is to direct our life's predestined path day-by-day, then it means we are mere puppets in God's own puppet-show. This portrays God as a mere puppet-master and everything happens the way he wants it to. Whats the point ? Something doesn't seem right, does it? Think about it for a second, we are given the freedom of speech, thought and action to speak, think and act according to our own wishes. We are free to choose our way of life, and are in full control of our own life. What we are not in control of, is the gentle from our heart (our conscience or God's voice). We are again free to choose to listen to that voice or ignore it completely. This choice we make gives the option of either following God's chosen path or your own. When we choose to follow our own path, will He abandon us? Reiterating our initial surmise that God is but a loving parent and shepherd, even if we choose a path of our own, He would constantly come back in search for us and try to win us over time and time again and will shape the path that lies before us accordingly.
Keep those ears open my friend, God speaks from his heart through yours...
From the lyrics of the song "Return to innocence" by Enigma :
"Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
...
To return, to return to innocence.Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
...
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny."
